Last year, our January trip to Florida consisted of one week at a Marriott and the rest of the time on, what my dear brother calls, The Moocher March.
Well this year, we minimized the Moocher part by securing three different Marriott Vacation club condos; one in Riviera Beach (near West Palm), one in Orlando and the final one on Marco Island, just south of Naples.
(Incidentally, every time I hear the word “Orlando” I want to sing out “ORLANDO” the way Elder Price did in the musical The Book of Mormon. If you’ve seen it, you can relate, if you haven’t, be sure you do.)
I’ll try not to bore you in the blog post…reading what we did every day and what we ate can be very boring. That is, unless, of course, the activity was grand fun and the meal delicious. Don’t think you’ll be totally spared when this is the case.
Some pretty zany things took place during the trip. Those are in italics at the bottom of this blog post, should you care to indulge.
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WEDNESDAY, JANURY 8th
Our first stop was to drop Harlem, Cailin’s cat who has lived with us for three years, with Brian. We are so lucky he agrees to this. Not sure what we’d do otherwise. I even took the bird feeder we suspend in front of our window to put outside his window (kitty TV).
She is one spoiled cat. (In fact, she’s lying on my desk right this minute as I type this. What a life!)
THURSDAY, JANUARY 9TH
We arrived at Donna and Wally Jawor’s home in Ponte Vedra, Florida, around 4:00. Donna is my big sister from Alpha Delta Pi days at Michigan State. We calculated that we’ve known each other well over 40 years. How’s that for a friendship with longevity?
After appetizers, we went out for a jolly gathering and had surf & turf (had to mention this one…it was delicious) at Pussers. Eleven of us shouted to each other over the loud dining room din. One highlight of the meal was a refresher course from Tony about how to make a bra using a dinner napkin.
Not to be outdone, someone showed off their skills at napkin-folding by making a peasant cap…shown off here by the lovely Helen and Daniele.
FRIDAY, JANUARY 10TH
We then headed south to Riviera Beach to a 15 floor Marriott Vacation Club (heretofore noted as MVC). Note: We stayed at three different Marriotts, in 2-bedroom units. Luxury lap, for sure. In Riviera Beach, the balcony positioned on the side, afforded us views of both the ocean and the intercoastal waterway. Beautiful!
We dumped our belongings and, since we had a full equipped kitchen, off to Publix we went. Along the beach area, space is limited, so Publix creatively installed this mechanism to raise grocery carts from the store to the parking lot above the store.
We then learned how very lucky we were. Just the day before it had rained dinosaurs and rhinos…I mean, like 17 inches. It was as much as 24 in some spots. Timing.
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SATURDAY, JANUARY 11TH
To, in part, make up for our Moocher March the previous year, we invited friends to stay with us at our condos, which were all two-bedroom units.
First to visit were Mary and Jim DeAngelo, friends who recently relocated from Charlotte to Naples. We ingested way too many delicious appetizers but still managed to eat dinner. As one would expect, we did a lot of eating on this trip…more than a body needs, that’s for sure.
We had one of the most delightful meals of the trip with them at Carmine’s. We got a primo table under a huge awning, overlooking the harbor filled with giant boats, and adjacent to the band and singer. This guy, an Andreas Bottacelli-sound-alike, was indeed a highlight. We later learned that he is a special import by the Carmine family.
See the rosy glow in our eyes? We were havin’ some fun!
We also wondered what could have been in the trunk of this giant, black sedan from New York. Somewhat suspicious, if you ask me.
SUNDAY, JANUARY 12TH
Since Jim and Mary were Charlotte golf buddies, it was fitting that we played with them at Abaco. I had an “on” day but it could have just as easily been “off”. That’s just the game.
Later that afternoon, a huge sail boat that had washed up on shore and was stranded for two days was finally hauled off. This boat with tattered sails, provided great speculative entertainment for everyone.
It turned out the sailor was plucked off the boat by the Coast Guard in rough seas a week earlier and hundreds of miles away. Amazing that it ended up nestled in the sand right in front of the Marriott for our viewing pleasure. There were groups of adults and families with children watching the salvage efforts which took about an hour. Great entertainment!
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MONDAY, JANUARY 13TH
I went to outdoor yoga first thing. The class, surrounded by ocean breezes, took place on very comfortable Astroturf. Yes, it was resort yoga, but not resort yoga. Either Marriott pays well, or there is a plethora of available yoga instructors in Florida. No matter where I was, the Marriott yoga I joined in on was grand.
We needed a dose of nature, so made our way to the John D. MacArthur Beach State Park.
Interesting estuaries and a trail with most of Florida’s fauna noted with signage. I ended up racing through, only glancing at each sign. The rain has awakened the mosquito population, both Minnesota’s and Florida’s actual state bird.
Late afternoon we drove up to Sunrise, Florida to have dinner with an old friend – not old in the aging way, but in the history way. Marina Hernandez was a pal when I worked at J. Walter Thompson. She had transferred from the Caracas, Venezuela office and never left the U.S. Marina even joined my family one Christmas and enjoyed our giant run-around dinner. That’s a friendship-solidifying event if there ever was one.
Anyway, Marina married Dan Sablyak. We met him in Chicago, but had seen neither for 30+ years. Dan has his own business, True North Industries, and manufactures a medical supply system. He was about to meet with one of his biggest and best clients the next morning. Wonder if my crossed fingers that night had a positive effect. We’ve yet to hear. (But then, we haven’t asked.)
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TUESDAY, JANUARY 14th
Next stop was Boynton Beach to golf with Wayne and Pattie Babler, our pals from Bois Blanc Island. It was an easy drive from Riviera Beach. Their club, Delray Dunes, is very nice…no Raintree Country Club. It’s not even ok to put your golf shoes on in the parking lot. You can change your shirt in the parking lot at our club! But it was nice to step up to country club golf in Florida.
This was a game-falls-apart day. But then, they just had 17 inches of rain, so maybe I can blame that. The course had just re-opened and Wayne and Pattie had to stay up all the night it rained to keep golf course mud out of their pool.
After drinks with sweet Sally Sperry, Wayne’s sister, who we also know from Bois Blanc Island, we headed back to the MVC in Riviera Beach. Wayne and Pattie followed us to our digs. We went to a restaurant our friends Chip and Helen recommended, Guanabanas, for some great, overpriced grouper. Best atmosphere award: it was all jungly and we ate outdoors under an umbrella.
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WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 15TH
Although we could have joined a tour led by this very dapper gentleman, Wayne, also dapper and very familiar with West Palm Beach, acted as our guide. We explored the vias just off the fabulous Worth Avenue and, in fact, had a divine lunch at a sweet, outdoor café.
As you can see, the food was delicious…everyone chewing so contentedly.
We took a boat ride around Palm Beach, where the very rich, and very famous live, at least part time.
“That’s where Donald Trump lives. That’s where Warren Buffet lives. That’s where Bernie Madoff used to live.”
Of course, none of us could help noticing that our tour guide, Jack, was missing his left ear. Since, while on the boat I kept thinking of the movie My Left Foot, I was actually relieved that it didn’t occur to me until the next day that he wasn’t One-Eared Jack — get it? One-eyed, One-eared? Oh, I guess I didn’t give you enough credit. Although I’m sure he’s heard it before, that would have been one very embarrassing blurt.
Think we should feel sorry for the owners of this boat? Look closely and you can see the damage from a fire. Someone must’a gotten drunk and didn’t extinguish the candle or something.
A more pedestrian houseboat.
Here we are, all bundled up, enjoying a brisk January day.
Back to the ranch to clean up before going out for a bite. Only this time, it was an amazing bite at Taboo, one of the most popular restaurants on Worth Avenue.
I fully expected the likes of Robert Redford or Bill Gates to walk in. No luck. Only problem was that they cooked my tuna…I had to have them replace my $37 (!) piece of fish with one that was more rare. Chef didn’t get the memo that I like my tuna practically flapping on the plate.
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THURSDAY, JANUARY 16TH
Longing for exercise to work off all those meals, we threw our bikes on the car and headed out to Palm Beach, so we could see the hedges up close.
Henry Flagler, the man who developed the area (and actually was probably the #1 son of Florida) decided a walkway around the swanky residential area would be the bomb. So we first rode into the wind and then with it at our backs, while peeking at pools, gardens and statues. It was a bright and brisk day.
We ended up at the Palm Beach Publix. It’s the only grocery store I’ve ever seen with valet parking. Oh yea, that’s right, Wayne, Donald and, ust’a be, Bernie live here.
Since it was our last night at this lovely resort, we wrapped up in towels and headed down to the hot tub. So inviting were the sounds of the outdoor lounge singer, that, even though draped in wet towels, we joined the crowd for a glass of wine.
As usual, the Marriott crowd was ultra friendly. One fellow, a chiropractor from Port Huron, Michigan, bought a box of chocolates for a couple quite elderly ladies. These ladies started passing out the candies, getting to know everyone. Through the typical where-are-you-from conversations we learned that one of the grays was friends with the mother of one of Kevin’s fraternity brothers. Connections make life just way more fun.
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FRIDAY, JANUARY 16th
After an early workout and packing scramble, we headed out to visit the Flagler Museum before heading to Tampa.
This huge, decadent museum, AKA The Whitehall, was the home of Henry Flagler. Almost lost to age and development, it was rescued and, who would’a guessed it, is now very well-endowed by Palm Beaches well-to-do residents. We went on a crowded, but free, docent-led tour. Well worth the investment of our time.
I took the photo below specifically for Brian, who might find this thermostat interesting:
We took Highway 17 back across the state. It changes from divided to two lanes and back all the way across the state taking you through some pretty sad towns…like Zolfo Springs (no offense citizens of ZS.)
Next stop: Karen and John Rabbitt. These dear folks are related in a round-about way…through marriage. John’s blood uncle’s wife is the sister of Kevin’s blood uncle’s wife. Yea, confusing, I know.
We celebrated Karen’s birthday with a luscious meal of stuffed chicken breast and a wonderful fruit-stuffed chocolate cake, prepared by Chef John. He is a keeper. He got her new lines for their boat, thus the rope-bit she’s holding.
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SATURDAY, JANUARY 18th
I thought Tampa’s big Gasparilla Days event (Mardi Gras on water) was that weekend, but I goofed. It was scheduled the following weekend. However, that day the week long events were kicked off by a Children’s Parade.
The parade was sweet with a crush of kids – no teens allowed please.
Our very own Wells Fargo was even represented.
We took a 2-3 hour cruise on Karen and John’s sailboat. It was chilly and sunny with ample wind.
We tried not to disturb two regattas that were taking place in the bay. We enjoyed a splendid cup of white bean and kale chowder.
After another hot tub dip — we love using these at hotels and friend’s houses since we don’t have, and don’t want one — we went to their friend’s house for an amazing dinner. Saw fireworks over Tampa Bay on the way. The chefs, from Brooklyn, prepared a 10+ course feast showing off their culinary skills…and practicing for the launch of their business, “The Pixie and The Scout” ( thepixieandthescout.com )
We were at the right place, at the right time.
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SUNDAY, JANUARY 19th
Thank you Jim and Mary DeAngelo for the wonderful lox you brought to Riviera Beach when you visited. We finally had them on fresh bakery bagels with cream cheese and capers this morning. My favorite meal of all meals.
Off to Orlando (ORLANDO!!) to our next Marriott. This one, The Cypress, was spacious with an inviting comfy L-shaped couch and screened in porch overlooking a large pond.
We finally put our feet up to watch the NFL playoff games. So now we know. It’ll be Denver and Seattle in the Super Bowl in two weeks!
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MONDAY, JANUARY 20th
We slathered on sunscreen and headed out to play golf. We played a very crowded round (it WAS Martin Luther King’s birthday after all) at Hawk’s Landing. We could hardly find parking. The course conditions were abysmal…the greens were actually blacks. We couldn’t believe we paid $107 each. We both had a rough day too but the fellows we were paired up with were just fine.
But, another funny thing happened. Funny to me, anyway. After passing by their wives who yelled “hi” from their balcony, I hollered “I’m the chick they picked up for golf.” Ha, ha, ha. NOT. But, silly me, I didn’t actually realize this until the younger of the two handed me a pamphlet entitled 101 of the Word’s Funniest One Liners.
Buried inside this tri-fold was a message citing hell and damnation for “those coveting another man’s wife”. Oops! I’m thinkin’ that fellow thought ole Mary needed some savin’.
Movin’ on, we drove through the convention area. Traffic was very thick. We sat through numerous traffic lights countless times finally settling on Fish Bone, which was marginally ok.
Don’t even think about parking your own car there. Otherwise, the valets would starve. Every chain restaurant in the U.S. is represented along this strip…and they’re all crowded. Amazing how that happens!
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TUESDAY, JANUARY 21st
The older of the two golfers from the previous day (not the one who handed me the you-need-savin’ brochure) went on and on about all the FREE things to do in Disney, so we decided to take his energetic advice. The weather was breezy and spitting. We drove to the Ft. Wilderness Camp Ground and caught a FREE bus to the lake where we took a FREE boat ride to the FREE monorail that took us to the FREE Polynesian where we had a great lunch…that, unfortunately, wasn’t free.
Our waitress was Ulia from Tallinn, Estonia. When we told her we were visiting there soon, she got a wistful look on her face. I think she probably misses it. Much of the help was from very far away. But this IS the Magic Kingdom.
The Polynesian was beautiful with the luscious waterfall in the lobby.
After my encounter with that golfer the day before, I’m thinking I maybe should have visited The Holy Land alternative-to-Disney-park instead of Ft. Wilderness.
Naaaah! I’m more of a wild child.
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WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 22nd
Needing another dose of nature, especially after Disney, we headed out to Merritt Island. It is on the east coast and is the home of a massive bird sanctuary on the North and Cape Canaveral to the South.
We took a driving loop through the magnificent preserve, so carefully managed by the park. There is some fresh, some salt and some brackish water with ample mudflats for shore birds.
There were groups of nerdy bird watchers, one with binoculars more powerful than the next. Of course, of all things to forget, it was binoculars. However, a gal in one group handed me hers to watch a battalion of White Pelicans coming in overhead in formation. Spectacular.
We saw a wild boar romping through the grass and this lovely, I think, Snowy Egret, a bird I really had hoped to see.
We didn’t see any Roseate Spoonbills during this trip. But I always say you need to save something for the next time you’re back…so Rosey, we’ll be back!
We headed south of Cape Canaveral and met up with Jamey Rabbitt and his fiancée, Janel for a lovely dinner of fish tacos (the best I’ve ever had) at Grilz.
Jamey is the son of Karen and John, who we sailed and partied with in Tampa. It was fun seeing Jamey and meeting Janel. Not many weddings on our calendar…but wouldn’t you know it, theirs is the same day as Peter Deery’s. Peter wins…he’s a blood nephew.
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THURSDAY, JANUARY 23rd
Exercise called so we visited a trail we discovered last year – The West Orange Bike Trail. We ended up riding 23 miles in 2 hours, 20 some odd minutes.
It was a very chilly day, so biking was the perfect activity. See the flowers all covered up behind Kevin?
Turns out I have only 22 miles in these legs so that last mile was a burn! We met a sweet couple, Barbara and Rubin, who told us about another trail called “Witalachi”. That is going on our agenda for 2015.
Halfway back, we stopped at The Cricket Moon Café in Winter Garden for sustenance. It is a cozy café/bar that serves hundreds of different kinds of beers and has the propeller of a blimp on the ceiling.
We passed by Lake Apopka which we learned is ultra polluted and the home of many alligators. Not takin’ a dip there!
Our Marriott wine tasting, that had been so fun in Lake Tahoe, was just us and Wallace Vitek. It ended up being fun because of him. He was a character, just out of the JAG in the army, trying to reestablish his law practice in Baltimore. Kevin and he had lots to talk about. He gave us his card and invited us to stay with him if we ever found ourselves in Baltimore. Not sure when that would ever be, but thank you, Wallace.
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FRIDAY, JANUARY 24th
Knowing Donna and Wally Jawor weren’t arriving until later in the afternoon, and to allow no grass whatsoever to grow under our feet, we scheduled a round of golf at the 9-hole course. I had my best round ever. And, another wonderful small world happening happened.
The fellow we were paired up with was wearing a wind shirt that said “Quarles & Brady – Milwaukee”. Kevin remembered that our friends we had just seen in Boynton Beach, Wayne and Pattie, used to live in Milwaukee and that Wayne had worked for that law firm. Bingo. Tom Wozny started when Wayne was a partner. He remembered being out-lawyered by Wayne when he was eventually on the opposing side. I took a photo and sent it to Wayne, who after some prodding, remembered the young upstart.
Donna and Wally rolled in. After participating in Marriott’s Iron Chef Competition (I won…ok there was only one other competitor) we had dinner at Vito’s steakhouse. Eduardo was a smooth, debonair waiter. Probably hauled in over $100G a year at those menu prices. Dessert was divine.
Today was a continuation of my ongoing computer chat with Jack Hanrahan. We’re cruising with him and his wife in the Baltic in May. Since we decided to add days to the trip — Copenhagen before and Berlin post-cruise — and time was running out, planning had to be done. Way back when, Jack and I met in the world of Media Planning at Leo Burnett. Crazy and wonderful to be planning our next trip while on this trip.
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SATURDAY, JANUARY 25th
Today was Winter Park day. We’d heard so much about this lovely Orlando (ORLANDO!) suburb so got there in time to secure a ticket for the boat ride. The boat travels over three lakes, with a guide pointing out historical homes and sites. Good overview.
We lunched at Dexters, a trendy restaurant. I think that’s the only kind of restaurant there is in Winter Park. Then Donna and Wally shoved off…but that wasn’t going to be the last time we’d see them on this trip.
We checked out Rollins College — tuition is $57,000/year. Beautiful, with a huge cathedral-like church in the middle of campus.
Hope it’s worth it.
Home to watch the underdog, U of M, kick MSU’s butt in basketball.
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SUNDAY, JANUARY 26th
Exercise, pack, drive…the every-7 day mantra of this trip. The price of fun.
Here is a map of the entire area. Our next stop was at a Marriott on Marco Island, the southernmost part on this map:
Our Marriott condo at Marco Island wasn’t quite ready we strolled up and down the Crystal Shores. Where’s Don, as in Trump? Where’s Warren, as in Beatty? Where’s Waldo? Favorite pass time, it seems, sandcastles! I loved the American Oystercatchers, all facing into the wind…delightful!
As we unpacked the Rabbitts and Carl and Mary Burst arrived. We met the Bursts on a trip to Peru umpteen years ago. We stayed with them and went to his lavish 70th Titanic Birthday party last year, so were happy to see them again.
They regaled us with stories of their recent trip to Mt. Everest while we ogled the splendid sunset over the Pacific. What were all the freezing people in the north doing? We wondered.
After a lively dinner at C.J.’s at the harbor, sadly, Mary and Carl headed back up to Sarasota.
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MONDAY, JANUARY 27th
After breakfast we headed south to the Everglades. We tried to drive the 15 mile loop through the park. Too bumpy and we’d seen enough alligators and even a manatee, so opted to turn back.
Loved this dual-purpose (it HAD to be) post office/outhouse, because it was in Ochopee.
We had a long, lazy lunch at the Rod & Gun Club. You walk into this place and feel like you’ll see Ernest Hemmingway, pipe in hand, hanging out in the bar.
Our long, lazy lunch was either because of the incompetent waitress or not-up-to-snuff cooks. The good part was we sat in a huge wrap-around porch in gorgeous weather. We also had fun trying to figure out if the couple next to us was a January-December matchup or father-daughter. The way he kept looking at her convinced me it was the former. Lucky him. Maybe lucky her, if his pockets were deep.
We bought a slew of stone crab claws which we enjoyed on the porch of our luxury condo. That is, after we went downstairs to hear Johnny Fucho, an excellent singer who knew the words to every single request. Said he hailed from Las Vegas. Yea, I’d leave Las Vegas, too, if I could live on Marco Island.
We all started watching the movie Captain Phillips, but I soon departed to read in bed. Way too tense for me. I’m on vacation, after all.
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TUESDAY, JANUARY 28th
Sadly, the Rabbitts left. Without pals, we needed to find something to occupy our time, so we opted to head out on a guided wave runner trip into some of the 10,000 islands south of Marco.
Our guide said the number 10,000 is gauged on the high tide. It’s probably more like 11,000 islands at low tide. I rode on the back. When I tried taking the wheel, we swerved this way and that. So, I quickly gave up. We saw many birds including an eagle. There were pods of dolphins. Just before heading back we encountered a large group with numerous babies. So very graceful.
We decided to hop on bikes and do some exploring. Someone told us about the Burrowing Owls that are protected and nesting not too far from the resort. We rode our bikes up to where caution tape was suspended protecting their nests but saw only Burrowing Owl holes.
We went to a wine and cheese gathering that evening and met a couple of ill-at-ease engineers from Michigan. We then joined a rowdy group from Michigan that we met earlier. We enjoyed a very fun dinner at Stilts with them. It’s a casual second floor, open air restaurant on the Marriott property.
Our new Michigan friends. Now where did I put his email? Darn!
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WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 29th
We met our next guests, Tanya and Steve Sheridan, way down in Everglade City for an airboat trip.
The Sheridans live in Saugatuck, Michigan in the summer, vacationing on BBI every once in awhile. In the winter, they live in Sarasota. We’ve been to two of their three houses, so it was only fitting they joined us at the Marriott on Marco Island.
At Speedy Johnson’s Everyglade Tour, Tony twirled us through the everglades in a very, very noisy airboat that scared off any possible wildlife.
That is, except a raccoon who had been fed regularly by boaters. The raccoon never ventured far into the water, since he’s the alligator’s favorite food.
A pelican landed on our boat, but Tony shooed him off. Said you absolutely didn’t want to have their crap land on you—it’s nasty!
We picnicked in Everglade City, headed back to Marco Island and took a shelling walk from Tigertail Beach to the bird sanctuary.
Here was a group-effort decorated pile of sticks we saw along the way…great fun!
But before heading back to the condo, we took the Sheridans to see the Burrowing Owl protected area. Being island folks, we are all interested in nature…even if it means we only see the remnants of their habitat.
So, we pulled up to the caution-taped area to see the nests. While we ogled, who popped up but an owl! Definitely a highlight of the trip for me. He just stood his ground and stared back. Beautiful creature.
We went to dinner at an Irish pub across the street, and then back to watch college basketball. Steve is a HUGE Michigan State University (my alma mater) fan. He even took his entire family to the Rosebowl.
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THURSDAY, JANUARY 30th
Tanya and I planned to go to water aerobics but it was pouring rain. Our first brush with this much precipitation. We even got our bags wet hauling them out to the car. Good bye Sheridans, hello Naples.
We were supposed to play golf with Jim and Mary DeAngelo, our Charlotte friends who had joined us in Riviera Beach, but rain made that impossible.
We decided to take a trolley tour of Naples. Before that, we dined with a bunch of homeless guys at McDonalds. Seemed they took turns sleeping in one of the cars in the parking lot. These were down-and-out 30-somethings. Very sad. Half the billionaires in the world have property and spend some time in Naples but it doesn’t look like they take care of their homeless.
The tour ended up being really funny. Not on purpose, mind you. Only two of the three front windshield wipers worked, the windows were all fogged up and raindrops further obscured our view of all of Naples shopping centers.
Here is the trolley reflected in a shop window. And our view for much of the trip.
It’s all about shopping. I guess if you have lots of money you need a place to spend it. Naple’s most famous resident is Judge Judy. She earns nearly $50 million a year…and, according to the trolley driver, is a bitch. Why am I not surprised?
Our driver, a fellow from New York, who rambled on and on non-stop, nearly rear-ended a small car at one point. Yikes!
But, truly one of the funniest things of the whole trip…as in all of our-month-long Florida trip, was that the horn on this trolley blared every time we turned left. Many glaring patrons were left standing on street corners as we flew by, horn blasting.
We went to dinner at The Lighthouse and had a splendid meal. And, of course, it was mostly lively because of our dinner companions, Mary and Jim.
Mary & Jim’s place is wonderful. Life in the lap of Florida luxury.
FRIDAY, JANUARY 31st
We took off for Ponte Vedra, where we stayed for one more night before heading to Cary to retrieve kitty. That night we enjoyed a simply wonderful dinner next to a bunch of Swedes on a golfing holiday. (That’s our group, the Swedes are behind me.)
The very best way to end our trip…with big sister, Donna, and her husband Wally. Here’s my sweet Donna with her completely awesome mother, Lillian.
We had a very happy trip from Charlotte to Cary to Ponte Vedra to Riviera Beach to Tampa to Orlando to San Marco to Naples to Ponte Vedra to Cary to Charlotte…2,630 miles of memories.
See y’all in 2015!!
P.S. Here we are exactly two weeks later, cross country skiing on the golf course. Just five days before these photos were taken, we were putting on this green! Wild weather everywhere!
Zany events, as promised:
We got home on Super Bowl Sunday and were invited to a party. I didn’t exactly know who to root for, so looked in my closet for a clue. Lime green and navy jumped out at me…so Seattle would be it. I was the only person at the gathering rooting for Seattle. One fellow kept saying “seriously??” after each play. Someone even admonished me that “laughing didn’t seem like the right reaction”. I just couldn’t help it. Everything wrong for one team and everything right for the other…sweet dreams for one team, a nightmare for the other!
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Before leaving for our trip to Florida, I got a message to call the dermatologist for the results of a recent test. While on the road, I dialed the number and spoke to the receptionist, Gail. She put me through to Lisa. Now, I’d never met Lisa, but thought she was just a new nurse.
It wasn’t until we were well into it that I realized they had patched two of Dr. Pointon’s patients together. We were talking to each another about our test results, thinking we were talking to the doctor’s office. It produced this, in retrospect, hilarious conversation.
Lisa: I’m calling about the test results.
Mary: Well, was it cancer?
Lisa: Yes.
Mary: What kind?
Lisa: I’m not sure what kind. Just that it has to be removed. So can we talk about coming into the office to have it removed?
Mary: Oh no. Not in the office. Dr. Pointon doesn’t do these removals. Dr. Heniford does.
Lisa: Who is Dr. Heniford?
Mary: She’s a surgeon who does removals that involve plastic surgery.
Lisa: Oh.
Mary: So, can you send the test results to Dr. Heniford? I’m going to see her in early February so she can do the surgery then.
Lisa: What?
Mary: I want Dr. Heniford to do the surgery.
Lisa: Silence
Mary: Wait….do you work in the office?
Lisa: What?
Mary: Oh my god, are you a patient of Dr. Pointon?
Lisa: Yes.
Mary: (hysterical laughter) I’m a patient, too. How completely hilarious we’re having this conversation.
Of course, as one might suspect, we got to know each other and shared war stories. This didn’t make me love Dr. Pointon any less. I just wonder about her phone system.
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Just having crossed the border into Florida and while dining in Wendy’s (ok this isn’t about the grilled chicken sandwiches we had but they DO have the best straws in the business) a strange thing happened. It was at this moment I knew we were in Florida. A middle-aged man rushed in the side door and more announced than asked, “Did you see what happened over there?” pointing to a busy corner. “No, what?” I asked the same question that was on the tip of everyone else’s tongue. “A man riding his three-wheeled bike had the umbrella he was using fly into traffic.” People stood to look, necks were craned. No man, no three-wheeled bike, no umbrella. I imagined them all flattened in traffic. “Is he ok?” I asked the man. Either he didn’t hear me, or his town-crier duties were done. He opened the door and left. Florida nut, I’m thinking. I know they grow them here.
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Back on the road, we almost careened into a yellow cab. Another Florida nut merged from the far right lane into the far left;, without regard to our presence. VA Hospital – 2 Miles was on the sign that flashed by. Now wouldn’t that have been handy, Kevin being a veteran and all. But what about me? Might not have been so handy for me.
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Since I truly believe that Weird is Wonderful, the next encounter, this time via email, was most interesting.
I opened my phone and found several emails from people with the surname “Linson”. I don’t recall ever meeting anyone with that name but opened the first one, from Larry. This had been sent at 11:30 a.m. There were four photos of various women at what looked like a birthday party. The one who appeared in the center of most photos was quite elderly.
There were numerous emails from other Linsons (Teresa and George) with photos and cryptic messages, which I deleted. Enough already!
At 12:36 an email arrived from Larry which included three more photos with this same woman flanked by various people.
At 12:40 email included three more photos of the same ilk.
At 1:50 an email arrived with said woman and a friend, also silver haired. Both were wearing red blazers over black pullover sweaters.
Smiles abounded in all these photos.
At 1:52 I finally it reply to the last of Larry’s smattering of photos. “Who r u? I keep getting photos from Linsons and I have no idea who u r.”
1:58 (from Larry) Five more photos arrive. One was with THE lady and a forty-something fellow in a cowboy hat. I have a feeling this is Larry.
Larry must have read my query AFTER sending this last batch because at 2:00 I got a personal message: “I am so sorry. The funeral home gave me this email to send pictures to for my mother who just passed away.”
And then a follow-up at 2:14 “I called them and it was Derry instead of Deery. Lady, you have a whole lot of photos of a wonderful mom.”
Relieved I hadn’t been snarky; at 2:18 I replied “I am so sorry for your loss. She does look like a special person. You’re lucky to have these wonderful photos of her and the many people who, so obviously, loved her dearly. Now that I know, I’m going to go have another look at the pictures and say a prayer for her. I’m glad these came into my inbox.”
2:22 from Larry “Thank you for your prayers.”